Yesterday, during danah boyd’s keynote presentation for SXSWi, she made a comment to which I had to stop myself from jumping up amidst a packed room and shouting, “Amen! Testify, sister!” Her comment consisted of three words printed on a slide deck:

Nuance amidst extremes

It was in reference to quotes and soundbites from folks who have argued that “Privacy is Dead.” In the continuum of extremes, nothing is more polarizing than declaring something dead or evil.

I fear we’re becoming much too accustomed to being at those edges, our interests numbed by a media obsessed with getting people to yell at one another instead of actually listening and having cogent arguments. We’re living in a culture where nuance is getting set aside like a quaint antique writing desk, a reminder of another time.

Why? Because being salacious and provocative gets attention, gets click-thrus, gets retweeted and Dugg and shared virally. It means we really don’t have to take the time to think about instances where our reasoning falls apart. It means we get to stick with our safe, comfortable ways of thinking and doing.

Does this scare the hell out of anyone else?

But I don’t think we’re entirely lost, yet. It’s one reason why I continue to love blogs. Writers can propose a viewpoint and then allow for others to join the dialogue in a very public space. Online communities can function in a similar way. Thriving communities know how to help its members to share feelings and rationales, absorb the points made by others, and consider new perspectives. The point is to help people generate new viewpoints rather than get mired in their own stale ways of looking at the world.

Rather than accepting a lot of other “me too” comments, let’s encourage more diverse points of view. As bloggers, we need to challenge the thinking of our readers, reply to their comments, encourage them to keep thinking more deeply about issues.

I’m continuously hopeful of our ability to grasp “nuance amidst extremes.” But we have to keep listening to each other, keep talking, and most important of all, keep respecting the viewpoints of others we come into contact with.

PS. Yes, the irony of this post’s title isn’t lost on me

Recently, I’ve come across some interesting thoughts on the nature and necessity of talent.

This morning, Zig Ziglar at Great Management asked Does talent always prevail? And the answer is, “No.” In his article, Zig tells the story of Peter Vidmar, Olympic gold medalist, and why he succeeded when other athletes were more talented. Here’s a quote from Vidmar’s coach:

Peter is not particularly talented. I’ve had boys who were more gifted physically, with more kinetic awareness, strength and flexibility. But Peter surpassed them all because of his singular determination.

Geoff Colvin wrote a book called Talent Is Overrated: What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else and argues a similar point. Here are a couple of quotes that underscore Zig’s thoughts on talent:

Deliberate practice is above all an effort of focus and concentration. This is what makes it “deliberate,” as distinct from the mindless playing of scales or hitting of tennis balls that most people engage in. Continually seeking exactly those elements of performance that are unsatisfactory and then trying one’s hardest to make them better places enormous strains on anyone’s mental abilities. (p. 70)

If you believe that your performance is forever limited by your lack of a specific innate gift…, then there’s no chance at all that you will do the work. (But) If you believe that doing the right kind of work an overcome the problems, then you have at least a chance of moving on to ever better performance. What you really believe about the source of great performance thus becomes the foundation of all you will ever achieve. (p. 205)

What Zig and Geoff remind us to do is to not buy fully into the “Cult of Talent” that has taken root in our culture, the idea that if you weren’t born with a gift you’re out of luck. It actually doesn’t work like that. The reality is more liberating…and more challenging. It means that if we develop a habit of deliberate practice where we continually push ourselves, we can achieve more than we might otherwise believe. It doesn’t mean that innate talent is meaningless, it just means that it’s not everything.

Personally, where I struggle most is in trying to determine where to fully dedicate myself. My Renaissance Soulseems to rebel against the notion of selecting just one thing to dedicate my mental focus. I can’t claim to have a lot of answers to this question. How do you navigate the task of deciding where to place your dedication and create a deliberate practice plan? Love to hear your thoughts.

Today, I’m feeling a little harried, anxious, and irritable. Yeah, yeah…it’s Monday you say. Well I do my damnedest to not fall into the TGIF and Manic Monday modes but I guess its unavoidable at times.

Which is why I learned a while ago that its important to always have touchstones to get me out of these spots. One of these is a tactile object that I can hold in my hand. It’s the red stone at the bottom right of the picture. I call it my heartstone (hopefully, you can see why). There’s something calming about having its weight in the palm of my hand.

The second touchstone is a set of mental reminders that help me to refocus. I call them my BC5:

Be Centered – breathe deeply
Be Curious – ask questions
Be Creative – pursue new ideas
Be Courageous – take risks
Be Connected – focus on relationships

Do you have any touchstones that help you reconnect with who you truly are when you find yourself being pestered by the flying monkeys of life?

This YouTube clip is making the rounds through Twitter and it’s just too darn good not to share here. It’s also related to Vicky’s first post at the new Remarkable Parents blog.

“If you’ve never failed…you’ve never lived.” We can stew about our failures or we can celebrate them. Which one do you think is going to help us create the kind of life we dream about?

Steve Roesler published a great post (then again, has he ever written a bad post?) titled Talent: Accurate Self-Awareness or Karaoke Feedback?. The main focus is feedback and he offers suggestions on how to give it as well as how to receive it.

For me, I find the hardest thing to remember about feedback is that it is a gift. Yes, sometimes that gift is like receiving tube socks for Christmas but every so often I get the kind of feedback that is right up there with receiving a first edition signed copy of Frank Herbert’s Dune. Feedback is learning and I have to remind my ego that learning is good if I want to grow (it helps to talk to my ego like it’s a five year old).

It also helps to frame the experience of receiving feedback in this way. Steve notes:

And remember: Feedback is more indicative of the person giving it to you than of you yourself. It tells you what’s important to them, reflects underlying values and expectations, and reveals ‘how you measure up’ in their eyes.

It’s a terrific post and made even more so by the addition of Wally Bock’s comment where he tells the story of how his father, a Lutheran pastor, asked for and received feedback from his family after each service and sermon. His experience offers additional elements that are vital in making feedback the powerful learning tool that it can be.

How are you practicing good feedback to those around you?
Are you asking for candid feedback and taking notes?

I really try not to do this…yet, it’s inevitable, isn’t it? I try to convince myself that the calendar is just an artificial construct and that I can do this exercise at any point in time. I don’t need the little clock sitting at the bottom left on my computer’s taskbar to read 12/31 in order to prod me toward a heightened state of reflection. I don’t want to feel a slave to the chaps who conjured up our Gregorian calendar. But then…who am I kidding? This time of year just cries out for a rearview/frontview perspective. So here I pay my debt to Janus and seek his help to bring the current state of Bailey WorkPlay into focus.

Defining Influences of 2007
Losing two grandfathers. While intensely personal, both losses have impacted my professional focus in different ways. Papop Starr’s life was one of art, charity, love, family…I could really go on. He will live forever through his legacy and its an inspiration that I hold dear. Grandpa Bailey’s life was one of hard work, education, faith, family…again I could go on. His gift to me is a reminder that this life is a gift and the time we have here on this earth is precious. It’s not to be forsaken or taken for granted. In their death, I find my love for life.

Working life in the corporate world. Yep, it’s still quite an influence. This was my first full year playing in the laboratory of the corporate world. It’s different from the nonprofit world and yet not that different at all. The same organizational, communication, leadership, and management challenges exist regardless of the tax status. This year provided all the proof I need that there’s a place for my work with Bailey WorkPlay. Look for more details on new services in the coming weeks.

Helping my wife through a career crisis. Watching someone you dearly love go through a career crisis truly defines your own sense of what work can be (and what it should never be). There’s nothing quite so miserable as feeling trapped in a hopeless spot that just isn’t going to get better no matter how hard you try. Her experience is a cautionary tale about the need to follow your intuition and truly listen to your inner voice. It also clarified my passion for helping folks create work they love and helping organizations build strong cultures that emphasize humanity while still making a profit.

Deciding to crank things up professionally. Each of these items (and a smattering of other minor influences) have provided me with the appropriate degree of fuel needed to move from the sidelines back into the big game. I’ve been gunshy about putting myself out there. I keep asking what if I fall on my ass? But you know what…that’s just crap that I tell myself to keep me safe. Yeah, safe and unfulfilled. Now it’s time to risk again, fall on my ass if necessary, but pick myself up and dust myself off. Simple, but not easy. But then again, what’s really worth doing that’s easy? The growth is in the challenges.

Aspirations for 2008
Cranking things up means envisioning some really bold aspirations for this new year. And by putting them out here in the open for all to see, I’m making a commitment to each of them.

I will be putting greater distinctions on Bailey WorkPlay and The Alchemy of Soulful Work. Up to now it’s been somewhat confusing. Is Bailey WorkPlay the name of the blog? What exactly is The Alchemy of Soulful Work, then? It’s okay…I’ve been confused, too. Early in 2008, you’ll start to see a better delineation between the two concepts. Bailey WorkPlay is the name of my service organization focused on coaching, consulting, and facilitation. I’ll be working with individuals who are unfulfilled with their J-O-B and want to align their purpose with their work. I’ll also be working with organizations – primarily nonprofits and small businesses – who are tired of struggling with stagnant work cultures and want to improve their people systems. The Alchemy of Soulful Work is the title of my blog and online laboratory for ideas, reflections, and practical advice.

I will accelerate the growth of the Alchemy of Soulful Work. I will take my current subscriber base (somewhere around 100 folks) and increase it to 1000 subscribers by the end of 2008. And because I believe that comments are absolutely important to creating a healthy blog community, the Alchemy of Soulful Work will have 1000 comments by the end of the year, too. As soon as I find some good widgets to track these metrics, I’ll insert them on this site so everyone can track progress and participate in the success.

Oh, and by the way…I finally registered www.alchemyofsoulfulwork.com. So, there are two ways to get to Bailey WorkPlay and Alchemy of Soulful Work.

I will be far more visible. When I think about visibility, I think about activities in addition to blogging and my online site. So, what better way to get visible than to speak and write? This year, I will secure at least two speaking gigs and publish an article for a print magazine or newspaper. I will also continue to contribute to Career Hub and guest blog at other spots.

I will step further outside my front door. I plan to travel more outside the city limits of Austin, TX. It’s been easy to keep close to home but now it’s time to venture beyond my borders again. I have several reasons to visit areas in the US Northeast, Washington DC, Chicago IL, Atlanta GA, and Southern California. Hopefully, this will give me a chance to meet more of you for the first time or have a chance to see you again. While there’s much that can be shared through email, phone, and blogging, there’s even more that can be gained by sitting with a cup of coffee and chatting.

I will rededicate myself to reading. I read surprisingly few books in 2007 and I think this was one reason why my blogging was a little less dynamic this past year (or at least it’s what my vocal internal critic points out to me). I aim to read at least 15 books this year, which for a slow reader like me is quite a bit. I’ll continue to keep up with my blogreading through Google Reader and maintain my subscription to Harvard Business Review.

Whew! Looks like I’m going to have a busy, productive, and fulfilling 2008. What about you? Even if you don’t get wrapped up in the whole New Year’s resolution game, I hope you take a few moments to reflect on what this past year has meant to you. What events influenced who you are right now? And what do you aspire to be in this next year?

I’ve been tagged for the Think Differently Challenge meme by Jamie Notter and it’s one that I’ve been giving some of my best mental energy. It’s a good challenge. Like Jamie, I fully believe that “if you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.” So if you’re intent on learning and evolving, you have to be prepared to see things in new ways.

First, I have to be honest…it took me a while to uncover a topic worthy enough for this particular challenge. A no-brainer might have been patience (such as having patience with my fellow motorists no matter how crazy their driving or having patience with people doing idiotic things like taking up two parking spaces…hmmm…it appears I have some vehicular issues to resolve, huh?). But my issues around patience lack flair and imagination. No…if I’m going for a challenge, let’s make it something interesting, something provocative, something that’s going to push me in a new direction.

So what is my Think Different Challenge to myself? I’m challenging myself to be less of a perfectionist. Would you like to know how much of a perfectionist I am? I started this particular post three weeks ago and haven’t been able to publish it because I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. Quite honestly, this is one of my major hang-ups when it comes to blogging and creating content for the Alchemy of Soulful Work. I have around two dozen posts in various states of completeness, but they’re still stuck in the draft folder awaiting their own state of perfection.

And it’s not just blogging…other areas of my life tend to suffer from an ingrained desire for achieving perfection. Even as a self-proclaimed recovering perfectionist, I continue to set an incredibly high bar for myself in my work, as well as a father and husband. Regardless of how far I’ve come, I still have plenty of work to do…so here’s my plan:

Questions, questions, questions…for me, thinking differently starts with asking questions. Here are a few that I can stash in my back pocket:

• Is the extra attention and detail I’m putting into this ultimately worth it?
• What am I giving up in order to keep doing this?
• Am I willing to forgive myself if I screw up?
• Am I willing to let go of the need to always be the “star student”?
• What am I trying to avoid by pursuing perfection?

So here’s my post which is not – nor will it ever be – perfect. For perfectionists, this is rather like stripping down to our underwear and running down the street. But then again, nothing I do is ever perfect so donning only my skivvies on a daily basis shouldn’t be anything new, right?

Per the rules of the game, I now get to see if five others are willing to play along. You probably know the rules – they’re similar to most other memes. In this case, write a new blog post in which you “think different.” State that the post is a part of the Think Different Challenge and include a link and/ or trackback to this post so that readers know the rules of the challenge (see Jamie’s post for more info).

Annette Clancy at Interactions – Creative Strategies for Business

Arnie Herz at Legal Sanity

Debbie Call at Spirit in Gear

Patti Digh at 37 Days

Tammy Lenski at Strategic Conversations

And if I didn’t tag you here and want to play along – maybe as a part of an upcoming New Year reflection – jump on in.

Continuing my thought process from yesterday, how’s this for adventure? WebUrbanist tips Lia Sutton and the concept of the Adventure Playground:

In short, adventure playgrounds are places where children can create and modify their own environments, rather than relying on rigid equipment that only serves a limit set of programmed purposes: “In a sense, you and I have always played in ‘adventure playgrounds.’ We created a fort in the kitchen cabinets, jumped from couch to couch across oceans; we snuck out through a hole in the fence to a new world. We climbed trees and hid in bushes. We played in the mud and the rain. We chased each other, made secret worlds …”

Yeah, the concept here applies to kids, but it’s also a rich source of ideas for us adults, too. How often do we just accept our surroundings as fixed, non-transformable environments? What if we altered our everyday areas to match our moods, needs, you name it?

If you’ll excuse me…I’m off to turn my cubicle into a fort.

Either I’m getting older or it’s just part of my natural makeup…I truly enjoy an afternoon nap. And there are days when it’s more than a want, it’s a need. I need the benefits of shutting down for a few minutes. I think better, I’m able to focus more, and my general disposition improves significantly.

I’ve been playing with a program called Pzizz for a few months to see if it helps improve my napping. Happily, I can say that it’s well worth the download and even the cost of the bundles. Here’s what I like:

• I’m always in danger of overnapping which can be just as bad as not napping at all. For most of us, if we start to sleep too long, we actually start the whole sleep cycle. And when we wake up, we get sleep inertia. We feel groggy. not mentally sharp, and probably a little irritable. The Pzizz napping module defaults to 20 minutes and you can customize this if you want, though most sleep experts suggest you shouldn’t go for more than 30 minutes.
• When I nap, I like to have ambiance music. Pzizz produces soothing sleeping sounds like ocean waves. It also includes guided-relaxation through NLP. With Pzizz, you can customize how much of the voice you want to hear.
• You can download any number of Pzizz naps to an iPod or other mp3 player. This feature has been a gift for flights because I have trouble sleeping on planes.
• Free upgrades for life. It’ll be interesting to see if this sticks but this is quite a deal. For instance, the most recent version update (2.3) reduced the amount of time it takes to create nap from what seemed forever (maybe 3-4 minutes) down to around 30 seconds.

This is primarily a review of the napping module. They do have a sleep module that’s worth checking out. I don’t use it because Caroline isn’t a big fan of music or sounds as she sleeps. Maybe I’ll convince her to try it out with me soon.

Give it a try and see what you think. If it works for you (or even if it doesn’t), start a dialogue here. I’d love to know about your experience.

Link: Pzizz

Lorelle laid out another post in her series of blogging challenges that happens to coincide with my upcoming three year anniversary of blogging. Her writing challenge is: Blog about the path your blog took to get to now. Here’s the possibly boring and predictable chronology, but I’ll follow it up with some lessons I’ve learned about not only blogging but myself over the past three years.

Timeline
September 2004: The beginning…I started blogging because I just took the plunge to become a full-time career and leadership coach (back when this blog used to be called imaginactive musings and hosted through Blogger). I wanted a blog as a way to publish ideas as well as use it as a virtual business card and marketing vehicle.
Key post: It’s All Invented…So Have Fun With It

January 2005: When I started drowning after this plunge (the failure to build a viable coaching business is a whole other topic of learning) the blog typically took the form of someone writing about their often painful experiences trying to find work. Sort of blogging as self-therapy. This was about the time I first used The Alchemy of Soulful Work as my blog title.
Key post: The Career Change Blues (And Other Colors): The Beginning

March 2005: It didn’t take long for me to tire of Blogger’s inherent limitations. The blog transitioned to TypePad. Sadly, I lost all my comments from Blogger in the transition. Still trying to find work, though.
Key posts: Hello Typepad… and I Will Be Complacent No Longer

June 2005: I found a job and started to write more about my management and leadership experiences in the non-profit setting. I also started to write about some of the headaches and frustrations with my particular organization which would later get me in a bit of hot water. Oh the things you learn the hard way.
Key posts: Superabsorbant New Director and More On The First Month Of A New Job

June-October 2005: I also attempted to write a companion blog focused on the customer and non-profit association member experience and coined a rather idiotic term custo/member (though, I still can’t figure out a better way to describe these two different groups in the same word…Ben, any help?). I eventually dumped the second blog and integrated it into Alchemy. I now know more about the challenges of keeping more than one blog going.
Key post: The Focus On The Custo/Member

March 2006: With my annual TypePad service coming to a close, I decided to move to a self-hosted solution. I experimented with Joomla and Drupal before choosing WordPress as my blogging platform and baileyworkplay.com as my domain. The whole point was to stake out this online home so that whenever I decide to get my act together and hop back into the coaching/consulting world again I’m fairly well set up to do it.
Key post: A New (New) Beginning With Some More Changes

July-October 2006: I took a hiatus which was necessary due the the big “quickly move everything from Virginia to Texas” decision, but it was extremely hard to rediscover my blogging groove. There were times during this period when I almost closed the door on blogging…thankfully I didn’t.
Key posts: Giddyup Cowboy…We’re Moving To Texas and An Extended Hiatus

April 2007: For some silly reason, I decided to part ways with the blog title The Alchemy of Soulful Work and settled only on Bailey WorkPlay. I’ve recently returned to my senses and reverted back so that Alchemy again is the title of the blog and Bailey WorkPlay is the name of my sidework gig.

July-Today 2007: I think it’s only been in the past couple of months that I’ve gotten playfully serious about my online presence. I’ve challenged myself to be more outwardly focused rather than introspective in my approach to blogging and networking. So far, so good.

Learning
Lesson #1: Be prepared to take the long road
Blogging is not a “If I build it, they will come” type of thing. When I started, it took roughly three months to get my first comment (I’m still very appreciative, Curt). It came just when I needed to hear it and was just the type of encouragement that told me that I was on the right track. Then along came Rosa and an introduction to her growing Ho’ohana Community a couple of months after that. What would have happened if I ditched the whole thing after a couple of months of no comments and practically no readers? Even now, I go through stretches where comments are on the thin side. Fact is that blogging is a journey with several waypoints rather than one final destination.

Lesson #2: Don’t be a blogging shut-in…get out of your own house
Simply put, find like-minded souls and introduce yourself. Write meaningful comments that speak to what the fellow blogger actually has written. Send a personal email if you feel that’s appropriate. Join a multi-writer blog. Get hooked up in one or several of the many social networks out there like Facebook, LinkedIn, Shelfari, Twitter, etc. The important thing that I’m learning is that, while it does take some courage, don’t let shyness get in the way of connecting with others and building some dynamic relationships. I’ve come to realize that blogging is not so much an individual activity, it’s a community activity. Great blogging is knowing how to build relationships with fellow bloggers and readers.

Lesson #3: Know why you’re blogging right now
The times when I’ve struggled most are when I lost sight of my purpose for blogging. For me purpose and passion are intricately linked. I’m like an actor constantly asking the director, “So what’s my motivation?” My purpose can change, but it doesn’t happen that often or dramatically. I blog because I feel I have something unique to add to this world, a different way of viewing work and organizational life. So when you blog, what’s your purpose and motivation? Write it down and keep it in a cozy safe place so that when you get to a place where you lose sight of why you put yourself out there for all the world to see you can have a reminder.

Lesson #4: Don’t force the muse to appear, coax her out patiently
Blogging burn-out is unavoidable. Even if you love writing, there will be times in your life when it bumps against other things. For a three month period in 2006, I pretty much put this blog on ice while I settled into my new home in Texas. When I tried to come back after the hiatus, it was hell to get back into the swing of writing. It was as if I forgot how to put together words and sentences in a sensible way. It was almost painful at times. It was only when I consciously decided to be gentle on myself and not go back to blogging full force that I was able to ease myself out of the come-back funk.

Lesson #5: Mind the gaps
This is partly based on an assumption, but I’m finding that the more posts I write the more readers I get. Here’s the reason why: Have you ever found a blog through another link or Google search which looked promising but found the posting frequency to be infrequent? Or the last post was written a couple of months ago? What did you do? Did you subscribe or did you pass? If you’re like me, you tend to pass on since there’s little sense in tracking a blog that may not be maintained. What I’m trying to do now is not be such a damned perfectionist and simply write. Some of my posts I recognize as instant gold while some are merely okay. I’m not suggesting that you aim for quantity over quality…just be more comfortable with not aiming for perfection with each blog post.

Lesson #6: Evolve
This final lesson is be open to new ideas, techniques, and tools. Be open to learning something new. Even though I’ve been blogging for three years (which most people say is rather long in the blogging world), I’m by no means an expert at this. There are experts out there who haven’t even started blogging. If you’re one of these folks, think about what you might add to the world through your writing. If you feel you’re not a great writer, try your hand at podcasting. The beauty of this time in history is that there’s always something new around the next corner. Just keep your eyes, mind, and soul open to the possibilities that are always in front of you.